As kids approach adolescence, they will change. They will no longer obey your every command and they will begin to shut you out of their life. This is natural and healthy. Kids need to learn how to think for themselves, how to live independently, and how to weigh risks and make responsible choices. You may be thinking, "My kid is too young." Too young for what? To start practicing? If this is your train of thought then you might be one of those parents who would be quite content to have your "baby" live with you until you die. Well, I assure you, if your kid is not allowed to start experiencing the world for him or herself then not only will they fail to learn many life lessons, but they will succeed in learning how to resent you. In many cultures there are proverbs saying, in so many words: You cannot learn by others’ experiences, only your own. Do not confuse this with instructions to step out of your kids’ lives. It is merely a suggestion to stand back and allow some leeway. In my experience, guidance from a distance is a much more successful parenting tool than either lack of guidance or authoritarianism. Teenagers’ independence is by no means an insignificant thing. It is their pride, their life and their sanity.

Often parents justify their actions by saying that they are protecting their children. At this I can only laugh. Unless you want your kids to hate you, you have to give them some freedom, and unless you take away all their freedom, you cannot protect them. Anyway, parental fears are often irrational. Nowadays people are killed somewhat indiscriminately and women raped on their own block. It’s a dangerous world and one day, all of us teenagers are going to be living in it without you, so you might as well get used to it. Plus, the restrictions you place on your kids are often the cause of their rebellions, not the cure. There is a saying, "kids will be kids." It’s true. It is almost impossible to keep people from doing things that they want to do. If you attempt to place harsh restrictions on your kids, they will be more likely to slip out of your grasp, and, in doing so, you destroy the only real control you have, which is that of respect. It is then that they begin to lie to you, going about their business as usual. If you want to know what’s going on in your teens’ lives, you will find that communication is much more effective than espionage.

Communication is the single most important factor in any relationship, including a parent-teen relationship. And by communication I do not mean you telling your daughter how things are and then shouting her down as she tries to give you her perspective. You must learn to listen. Teens, after all, know their motives better than you do. While we are inexperienced and perhaps a little confused, telling us what we think and how we feel is not the way to get us to change our behavior. Instead, ask us what we are thinking or how we are feeling. If we don’t answer, perhaps it is because you often react to what we say in such a way as to make us not want to tell you things about ourselves and our lives, for fear you will get angry. After all, would you rather your kid smokes pot and you know that he does it responsibly and moderately or would you rather not know what he does and worry all the time. When you cut off communication, you cut yourself off from the most accurate source of information pertaining to your child, forcing them to hide their true self from you and to lie.

Take me for example; when I was fourteen I was going out with a girl whose mother would not let us be alone with each other for fear that we were having intercourse. Eventually we started traversing the dangerous city streets to visit each other at night. You see, kids will find a way to do what they want. It is their nature, and if it makes their authoritarian parents angry, so much the better. My girlfriend’s mother’s problem was that she did not believe her daughter when she told her that we were not having sex. (For the record, we were not.)

Honesty is probably the next most important factor in a relationship. It is built on trust, which is built on respect. If you do not respect your children, their privacy or their friends, then how can you expect them to respect you? Respect is mutual, and if you treat your children with it, allowing them to have their privacy and opinions, and keeping within their boundaries, they will be more likely to do the same for you. For instance, if you set double standards for your children, don’t expect them not to complain. After all, you are refusing to compromise, refusing to make a respectful, mutual arrangement.

On the issue of sexuality, let me say that more of your kids are having sex than you probably know about, as it is one of the least shared details of a teen’s life. This has more to do with the left-over puritanical belief that sex is wrong. It is a natural urge and, if practiced safely and responsibly, quite enjoyable. I understand that many religious people object to their children having sex or even masturbating. It is my belief that you should not force your views on anyone, even your own child. After all, if you raised them within a religious setting and it didn’t take by now, then what makes you think that it ever will? Eventually, we all have to look at life for ourselves and choose our own path. Instead of trying to keep your kids from sex, try educating them about it. Because I assure you, someday your kids will have sex and it is quite possible that it will not be with your approval. Would you rather they did it safely or would you rather they brought a life into the world or spread a disease.

Drugs are another concern for a lot of parents. First let me say that drugs are not good for you. I agree with that, but then again we can’t always be expected to do what is good for us. Next, let me say that all drugs are not equal. Do not, upon catching your child with a bong, freak out as if he was smoking crack. Have a talk with your kid about it. Try and understand why he does it and find out how often. If you let fear of the unknown, or even fear of the known, control the way you deal with your kid then you are letting your fears dictate their life. Sometimes kids will do something that they know their parents hate simply to make them angry or show that they cannot be controlled.

The most significant point is that you can’t really control your kids. You can control their behavior for a while but only up to a point, and after that, wouldn’t you like to be on good terms with your child. People always tell me what a good relationship my mother and I have. We do have a good relationship. She has been my lighthouse during a turbulent adolescence. She is not a pushover and she is not authoritarian. She is strong, dependable and respectful of my life. That is the secret to our relationship. Humor, trust and respect.

An excerpt from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet sums up everything I have been saying. An excellent book, I suggest it to readers of all ages.

   And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children,
   And he said:
   Your children are not your children.
   They are the sons and daughters of Life s longing for itself.
   They come through you but not from you,
   And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
   You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
   For they have their own thoughts.
   You may house their bodies but not their souls,
   For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
   You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
   For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
   You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
   The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
   Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
   For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

High school! Why did you have to make learning so dull? The biggest flaw in the high school way of teaching is the standardization of work, grades, and tests. Standardization is a perverse idea. Everyone is different and you cannot assume that people in the same class learn the same way, at the same rate, or have an equal chance to succeed. I personally am quite good at standardized tests, but I know many people who aren’t. On the flip side, I know people who have a high tolerance for repetitive, monotonous work, while I do not. Believe me, nothing will lower your GPA quicker than a refusal to do the pointless homework assigned to you in at least 2 out of 5 classes. It seems to me that if you can do something once, you should be able to do it again. Also, in math classes the teachers ought to stop focusing on the right answer and look at what the student does. If a student gets one part of a proof wrong which causes all the rest of the proof to be wrong, if his logic was valid, he ought to receive partial credit. The best teachers I’ve ever had were the teachers that made learning fun and were kind and amiable. Those are the teachers I learn best from. Then again, not everyone enjoys learning the way I do.

School may seem a cruel institution, a prison to keep our youth off the streets. It is not. Think of all the teachers who put up with rude behavior and oppressive administrations seeking only the chance to implant some knowledge in the mind of a student. Teachers have no choice in life. They are teachers and they love to teach. Why else would they settle for such low pay? So have fun this senior year, live your life, but don’t forget the teachers. The happiest moment of a teacher’s life is when she sees that she has made a difference, that she has planted a seed of knowledge in a fertile mind.

To go off on a tangent, I hate commercials. I hate the idea of advertisement. If a product is really useful or needed then advertisement is not that necessary. While some of them are funny, most are full of lies, fake computer simulations, and biased surveys. They use deceptive statistics and entertaining scenarios as bait for the viewers’ dulled eye. They use sex and angst to sell products that have nothing to do with either sex or angst. They take some of my favorite songs and use them to market their unworthy goods (since when has laundry detergent been on the same level as Mozart). If the government cared at all about economic honesty, it would make laws that would force companies to be honest in advertisement. But then, of course, they never will because then it would apply to their campaign ads. It’s amazing to think that Nike has actually tricked people into paying them for the right to advertise their product. I saw a hat the other day, a normal baseball cap, which had at least 8 visible swooshes on it. It made me more than a little sick. It’s not just Nike, it’s almost all corporations. They spread their propaganda like syphilis, making us blind and stupid. To get the now-jaded audiences attention, commercials are getting more annoying every day.

When did money be come the new god? When did people decide that human Life has a monetary value? Some people kill others for their shoes, or their car, other people are awarded ridiculously large sums of money from companies that cause the death of their loved ones. I’m sorry if your son or your spouse dies in a car crash but in my mind that does not make you eligible for two million dollars. I’m sorry you tripped on the stairs and that you are now paralyzed but I don’t think that is necessarily the Stairs’ fault. Perhaps I’m insensitive but human misfortune happens. If you sue a cigarette company because you have cancer, I have to wonder if perhaps the coughing and the black mucus wasn’t a warning enough. And you who fell down those stairs, how many others fell down those same stairs? If the answer is none then isn’t it quite possible that you simply tripped, at no fault to anyone. We all trip sometimes you know. Suing has become the new American pastime. People are greedy. It’s this same greed that compels certain companies to pollute the water, to build cheap, and possibly unsafe, products and to move into foreign countries where environmental and labor laws are lax.

What do you get with your money? Where is the happiness you think you can buy? The more you buy the more you want. Corporations have convinced you that buying things you don’t need will make you happy. But when you buy that car, are you happy? If so, why do you then need to buy more stuff? Aren’t you happy? "But more things will make me even happier!" you say. Do you honestly think that through material goods you can reach peace? The more you have, the more you have to deal with things, the more complex your life becomes and the less peaceful you will find yourself. Once you have it all you will worry about is losing it. Read Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse. Peace is not something you can find outside of yourself. Take a look at the monk whose eyes show wisdom and peace and compare them to the wealthy, crooked CEO’s who squander wealth. If you think the monk is crazy, ask yourselves if an insanity that makes you happy with things as they are and allows you to live a meager life is such a bad thing. And if human nature is to step on your brother’s face to take his Twinkie, wonder if that is a good thing. Money’s only purpose is to allow us to be comfortable. Comfort, however, is relative. You can learn to be comfortable with very little, but the more you acquire, the harder it is to settle for less and the more fully you become a tool of the men in power.

The only things you need to be happy, besides those that are directly related to comfort, are all free. You can learn to fast, you can learn to sleep outside in the woods, and you can learn to be entertained by the moon and the birds. Your fast food, your condos, and your televisions are no more than distraction from reality. Love and peace, unity and compassion, these are the things that cost nothing and yet are worth more than any gem or metal. These are the paths to happiness.

Nothing is what it should be anymore. The news is no longer informative, advertisements no longer advertise, and entertainment no longer entertains, merely pacifies. Actually, anymore was the wrong word. Things have never been as they should. We are living in the age of creative stagnation. It used to be that you needed talent and originality to make it in music or art. Nowadays you need a gimmick. To make it in music all you have to do is write something poppy, be attractive to the opposite gender, or rehash something good. There are of course exceptions. Those exceptions will be the classics of the future. How did we go from The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix to Third Eye Blind and Matchbox 20 (aren’t they actually the same band). Lyrics have changed from the beautiful poetry of Bob Dylan and John Lennon to the mindless ramblings of 25-year-old guitar players. Songs about a girl liking you for you should never have been written. "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It’s getting hard to be someone but it all works out, it doesn’t matter much to me." If you don’t know what song that is from, ask your parents, you are missing out on one of the most beautiful songs ever written. As is, a good beat has eliminated the need for lyrics that have either poignancy or poetry.

Honesty is dead. In its place, our rulers have erected a machine that spews propaganda from every orifice, blind to the harm it causes and immune to any attacks. I speak of the media, the beast that ruins innocent men’s lives for the sake of a story and spreads consumerism like it the plague it is. It tells us the things we have to know, like what Demi Moore is wearing today and with whom Sharon Stone is sleeping. I wonder how many people remember Kosovo exists, or that India and Pakistan still have nuclear weapons aimed at each other. I wonder how many people know approximately how many ICBs (inter-continental ballistic missiles) China had pointed at us at all times, how many people realize that the US is at war in one form or another everyday, and that nothing is sacred to out government, not the independence of South American nations and not the privacy of its own citizens. When the comics mentioned COINTELPRO, how many people got the joke, if you can call it a joke. As long as the majority of the people in this country are comfortable, awareness will remain dead. So for all you people who are fine living in plastic houses with plastic lives, ignore me. Ignore the flagrant human rights abuse that US corporations commit in foreign countries, ignore the blatant oppression of minorities and women, ignore the reality of things, for the real world is so much more upsetting to see. Oh, the only problem with that is, until the majority of the people in the world open their eyes, it won’t get substantially better any time soon.

Sometimes I want to cry because things are getting so bad in the world, and yes, I think its healthy for guys to cry. And for any guys who are thinking about sending me mail calling me names for being a cry-baby, just know that boys are 6 times more likely to kill themselves than girls and its widely believed that emotional repression could be a large cause. So write that letter but don’t think I will care. After all, your letter isn’t my noose. In a world where people kill other people because of a difference of faith, you have to wonder, are we any more civilized than the apes. As far as I’m concerned, we are just a little more intelligent but no more civilized.

I’d like to address the main topic of this site last of all. The truth in youth we say. What is the truth? The only truth I can think of is that we are people, individuals, and worthy of respect. As for stereotypes, if an old lady who sees me on the street at night holds onto her bag a little tighter, is that prejudice? Is it bad? I don’t think so. There are a good number of teenagers who are delinquent and while I am not one of them, I can look pretty creepy and I can’t hold old ladies accountable for being cautious. Its only when people stat to talk down to teens, acting for some reason as if we are stupid, not that some teens aren t, that I get angry. I have met teens far more intelligent and aware than many grown-ups. Then again, labeling and sorting is part of human nature, it is ingrained in the working of the mind. I can’t ask anyone not to attach labels to people and not to place them into schemas, I can only ask that people be open minded and adjust their schemas to reflect new information, instead of ignoring new information just because it clashes with the pre-existing ideas. Believe it or not, that is a big problem. So judge if you must but don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong. Don’t be afraid to be wrong. It is, after all, unavoidable. This has an awful lot to do with self esteem, which is a main focus in my essay Identity and Insecurity. Well, lets finish this long and very poorly directed essay. This entire paper has been one long digression, though it may appear more like random whining to the reader.

To those of you who made it this far, I have something to give you. You may have read most of these already but probably not all of them. If there are any books that you think I would like, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me with a list. Thank you for listening.

• The Razor’s Edge by Sommmerset Maughm
• The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
• Notes From the Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
• Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• 1984 by George Orwell
• Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
• Johnny Get Your Gun by Dalton Trumbo
• The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
• Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
• The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin
• The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
• A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
• and just about anything by Shakespeare

enjoy

Hours together on a perilous slope,
Abandoned as we leave the path.
When we make it to the top
We are greeted by apricots and smiles.
That night the garlic bread is half gone,
Digested by the left-behinds.

VI

Blue paper and graphite scratches
Adorn our homemade pornography while
The Jewish girl with the crazy mom
Laughs with us, knowing as we do
The bliss of deviant creativity,
The joy of straying from the path

VII

Half a year apart and then return
Only so you could sit in the boat
While I on the other side watch
As you and the three with you
Try to carve an exclusive path.
Only four could fit in anyway.

VIII

Your friend is my lover
You become the one who steals
Her from me, her best friend.
For that I hate you for a year
Until my love is murdered and
A concert brings me to your lips.

IX

You take her side, the one who
Kills me with each word, each glance.
You keep her strong and make me weak
At a time when I am crippled and crazed
And my life has become poetry in a box
As it is released and goes forth as madness

X

One day, we talk again and all is civil
Then you give me green for the second
And we are condemned both to the lake.
After school, during school, the j’s
Keep rolling themselves as the hits keep climbing
And my head keeps climbing until I fall.

XI

Blackness and misery, academic pain.
We cling to each other for support.
Cranking away at the chemistry book
Looking for the magic word to make
It stick like the green, the sparkly green
Who still drowns us in its fog

*

Tickling and laughing, but more.
The tent is a playground
And you want me to play
Hands on legs until the guilt
Of the girl waiting for me
Hits and I stop for fear I will
Lose my mind, hurt myself
My knife speaks for me later

XII

Both busy, both friends, though
I enjoy my environment more
While you think only of escape
Fighting to free yourself from
The forces that keep you on the line
On the path and in the box

*

When you are freed and I am free
We meet under a different moon
We kiss and cower, love and fear
A slip in my shoe tells me how you feel
And we hold each other close
Under the shadow of the bridges above

**

We are happy, we swim and love
Flesh on flesh, the hospital next door
The green in our eyes fading and
My doubts growing and we don’t talk
Until I hurt you and shame you and
Push you down to quench my fears

***

I lose you for a while
As you wander through the world
The way you like,
A traveler on the road while I
Rock carved into human form
Spend my time imprisoned

****

When I see you again
Words are not given
And eyes look away
We are angry and stubborn

13

Changes occur and things improve
We are once again friends
Though we meet in the clear
Rather than in the green
And we talk like we used to
Though the anger remains

*

We cook and we fight and
In the end it is all better
Until it happens again
You don’t cook rice
Like I cook rice and I
I point out stupid shit

**

One night with a friend
We try to contact the girl
Who you love so much
And we find instead two men
And a dog named Charlie
The night is clear as are we

***

You ask me while vomiting
If I will take you home
And you come with him and me
Until we reach the house and
He remains to my surprise
And disdain

****

I walk home steaming
Thinking of the way you
Must think when you drink
Thinking of the sailor boy
Who you missed and wanted
And regretted not knowing

*****

I want to understand why
You do those things in the clear
What hopes keep you from reality
And keep you on that rocky path
And keep you on that narrow path
And keep you on that perilous path

******

I want to understand what in this man
Makes you a “we” instead of an I
And turns you into a hermit who
Only calls when you want something
And has forgotten the bonds that
Form in the light of youth

?

Changes occur and you leave
Moving from place to place
Man to man, appeasing boredom
And trying to keep things lively
Until I pass you on the street and
We recognize each other and nod
And keep on walking, our paths
Before us and diverging

?

I look back for a moment to see
As you turn the corner, bus ticket
In hand and tall buildings in eye
That mischievous smile disappearing
Into the darkness

?

I sigh, weighed down with memory
And keep walking, fast and intent
To do something I have to do.
Make some changes

     One of the fundamental reasons that adolescence is so painful has to do with the conflicting nature of the problems that youths face, that and the abruptness with which they appear. In many cases, different parts of a teen’s life are pulling in opposite directions (i.e. friends versus parents), threatening to rip the teen apart. This is especially difficult to deal with at this stage of life because of the sudden shift from the easy life of middle school to the social and academic rigors of high school. Adults face the same problems, for as "life problems" they never really go away, but for the most part have learned how to deal with them. The most significant problem for a teen is one that, though it plagues them as well, doesn’t manifest itself in adults with nearly as much flair. The problem is that of identity, how to find it and how to live with it.

     Most of the teenage years are spent in intense, internal dramas, desperate pilgrimages of the soul on their way to find Self, something very few ever find. This "identity crisis", as many call it, is responsible for many of the political and social dramas in high school. A breeding ground for all sorts of destructive thoughts and actions, this uncertainty of oneself, which lies deep at the core of the ego, brings with it over sensitivity, longing for acceptance, macho fronts, rapidly changing hair colors, ridicule of others, and extreme susceptibility to peer pressure. After all, if teenagers are confident in themselves, what need do they have to prove themselves to anyone? What need do they have to conform or to care about the opinions of others?

     Considering my past, it may be hypocritical to give advice on this subject, but, then again, hypocrisy is inevitable. It’s good advice anyway. It’s very hard to free yourself from social conventions and from the opinions of others, maybe even impossible. A lot of teens, in an attempt to do just that, end up just joining another group, the group of supposed non-conformists. While it may take a while to find oneself it need not be painful. My experience has been that if you treat people with respect and kindness, they are likely to reciprocate. If they don’t, then ask yourself, "Why do I want to be around someone like this?" There is really no point in trying to make people like you. It doesn’t work. It makes much more sense to find a group of people with whom you feel comfortable and who like you for you. Honesty is of the utmost importance. I have often compared high school to a masquerade ball. Everyone putting on the mask they think that others will like. But, then again, how can anyone like you for you when they can’t see behind your cheap plastic mask.

     Teens, for the most part, join groups. As I have never really been part of a group, I have been able to watch and objectively analyze the group dynamics within particular social settings. Now, first let me say that a group itself is neutral, gaining either its positivity or negativity from its members. The group mind, however, is different from the group, and can be dangerous often enough to be disturbing. Mob mentality is a common side effect of the group mind, opinions tending to polarize at the extremities of the group. The anonymity that each member of a group feels is proportional to the size of the group, explaining why large groups are more often to commit horrible deeds. This, combined with the association of power with size, can help us to understand many of history’s great atrocities, such as the Holocausts of WWII. It also helps to explain the smaller, closer-to-home atrocities, such as the boy who was sodomized by the baseball team of his school with a bat. This of course takes me to the next subject, the high school hierarchies.

     Now some schools, as they perhaps value different aspects of school life, will have slightly different hierarchies from each other. By far the most common across this country, however, is the one so aptly demonstrated by such movies as "Varsity Blues" and other, in my opinion, disgusting and disturbing films. Jocks. Be it football, be it baseball, jocks rule schools nationwide. The baseball team, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, we can all agree to have done something completely unacceptable. I’m sure most of us can also agree that the students should have been expelled and sent to juvenile hall. All the school did to discipline the students, however, was suspend them. I personally cannot even begin to understand anyone who would commit such acts, but I am sure that these people were acting both under the group mind and the knowledge that, as jocks, nothing serious would happen to them. This is the problem with high schools having any hierarchy at all.

     Another group, often occupied by jocks, though not always, is the in-crowd. This is the group who decides what the trends are and is responsible for trying to make those people who don’t conform hate themselves. They usually resort to less physical means of torture, specializing in ridicule and rumors, sometimes effective in destroying a teen’s perceived social life. These are the people who make the less confident acting people even less confident, helping to suck all the joy out of their high school experience. These spiteful people are also suffering from insecurities, despite the attractive and confident masks. In fact, most people in the in-crowd tend to either have good looks are something else going for them, something boosting their confidence enough to allow them to crush others’.

     At my alma mater, Lowell High School, jocks do not own the school. In their place, however resides a different elitist faction, the self-proclaimed intelligencia, called Shield and Scroll by the administration, and the Lowell Gestapo by a few people such as myself. They are given the sacred ability to pick their classes before everyone else, which helps them get the most interesting, and sometimes the easiest, teachers. This is of course highly encouraged by the administration as they operate under the misconception that this increases motivation for learning. It does not. The only thing it increases is the students’ motivation for grades, which can neither be equated with learning or intelligence, only study habits and willingness to play the system. During senior year, when I tried to get people to revolt against the elitism at Lowell, the head of Shield and Scroll shut me down with the reasoning behind it being basically: The world isn’t fair. Get used to it. I’m starting to get used to it, but I still believe that injustice has to be fought at the small levels if people are to ever be truly happy. So, in my opinion, fight when you feel you are right, but pick your fights carefully. Don’t confuse this with an endorsement for grade grubbing. I personally think grades are pointless except to compare students to each other, which I also feel to be pointless.

     It is no wonder then, that in a hostile and oppressive environment such as high school, that many students turn to substances to relieve the pressure and help them to relax. Most teens I know who smoke cigarettes do so to relieve some of the stress from their lives. I also know students who started doing speed so they could stay up all night to do homework. I am neither anti-drugs nor pro-drugs. I feel it depends a good deal on the individuals ability to handle the drug and the motives behind the use. Many people are ill suited to certain drugs, either because of addictive personalities or health problems. Also, motives such as escapism, while viable in some cases, often leads to habitual drug use. Used purely for recreation, drugs have a solid place in world culture. There are many ways to amuse oneself, however, and risking your mind for a bit of fun doesn’t sound altogether bright. If the right drugs are used in moderation, however, not much harm will come to the user.

     Besides recreation, drugs have their place in the spiritual world. I am speaking of psychedelics only at this point. Most teens do not do drugs with the intention of self-actualization, or philosophical discovery, or enlightenment. For them, it is only fun they seek. It is unfortunate then, that the most pleasurable, and "fun" drugs are also the worst ones to use, such as heroin, cocaine, amphetamine, ecstasy, and, by far the most insidious, alcohol. As someone with multiple alcoholics in my family, I abhor alcohol and avoid it. I generally avoid all drugs except the natural ones, such as marijuana and psylocybin Even then, I do not suggest that anyone who does not use these already should. There are many ways to have fun and to open up one’s mind without narcotics. For instance, a good book, or a bike ride, or even raising sea monkeys can serve as a fun, not to mention cheaper, way of entertaining yourself.

     Alcohol, by far the most used drug in the world, is also one of the worst, causing everything from accidents, to fights, to unprotected sex, to rape, and to the most prevalent substance problem in the world, alcoholism. Teens, for the most part, drink to release themselves from their inhibitions and to take off their masks in an environment where they are not responsible for themselves, or their actions. This way, if they do things they feel ashamed about later, they have a scapegoat. This freedom from responsibility is also what leads to most of the reckless behavior characteristic of drunken people. With this in mind, reflect on the possibility of being able to release one’s inhibitions while still retaining control of oneself. The way to do this is simple and though it is redundant, I will restate the method. By learning more about yourself, which can only be done through deep introspection, learn to love yourself. As you do, you will no longer need social approval and taking off your mask as well as releasing your inhibitions will be easy. I know, however, that this is not the only reason why teens do drugs.

     Sometimes teens use drugs in order to rebel against their parents or society in general. Teens hate authority, perhaps because of their desire to find themselves, or perhaps because of their meddling in their lives. Now, I may sound like a traitor when I say this, but, most of time adults are doing what they do because they worry about their children (please excuse the use of the word children). They are trying to maintain order in their lives as well as the teen’s. Imagine if one day your little girl (or boy) suddenly started arguing with you and questioning your authority and nothing you could say from that point on was right. You had quickly turned from the role of loved parent to seemingly hated oppressor. Would you let go? Would you let go if you were worried that your daughter would get pregnant or get strung out on heroin, get raped at two in the morning (when she should have been home at twelve) or flunk out of high school? Adults, for all the crap they put their kids through, know more and are more experienced. I’m not saying you should always listen to them. You have to find your own way, but at least know that they are trying really hard to understand what the hell happened to their baby and help them. Communicate with them and let them know you. Honesty is perhaps the most important thing in any relationship. Let them know that if they want you to be honest, you have to know that you won’t be penalized for being honest. Once parents realize that they can’t control their kids, and their kids start being honest and respectful towards them, relationships often improve. Some parents, however, are psychotic. They are not rational. For teens with parents like these, all I can say is, sorry. Wait until you go to college. You’ll love it.

     The last, and possibly one of the worst problems facing teens in high school is relationships with members of the opposite sex. Most of my high school years were spent thinking about girls, worrying about girls, and feeling bad about myself because they didn’t appear to like me. I can only give the boys side of this topic as it is a very gender biased one. Girls can really mess up guys’ heads. The funny thing is, I’m not sure if they know they are doing it or not. Girls like looking attractive but I’m not sure they realize the stress it causes their brutal, blunt counterparts. I, however, will write about this at a later date, as it is too much to get into right now. As it is, it’s time to sum things up.

    In general, the teenage years are so difficult because people make them that way, both by judging themselves and by judging others. Most teen problems could be solved in the same way as economic problems and all the other problems in the world, by following the golden rule, by treating others with respect and love, by recognizing everyone as unique, rather than labeling and condemning them, by realizing that everyone is going through the same things as them, by knowing oneself, which can only be done through the frightening process of self discovery. The teen’s biggest enemies are fear and anger. Conquering them can open up the world around them, the love, the injustice, the enlightening and the stupefying. Only when all the choices are available can a teen’s potential be realized. (What a moralistic and preachy ending, eh?)