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	<title>BAMboozled &#187; hannah</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.bamboozled.org/author/hannah/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.bamboozled.org</link>
	<description>Find truth in youth.</description>
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	<language>en</language>
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		<title>Resources &amp; Links</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2008/08/resources-links/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2008/08/resources-links/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:47:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[abortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wp.bamboozled.org/?p=542</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here are places you can go to learn more about this topic: Planned Parenthood Roe Vs. Wade on Wikipedia Pro-Life Rally Marks 33rd Anniversary of Roe Vs. Wade NARAL Pro-Choice America Pro-Choice Reasons from MIT Legal Abortion: Arguments Pro &#38; Con]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here are places you can go to learn more about this topic:</p>
<ul>
<li><a title="Planned Parenthood" href="http://plannedparenthood.org/">Planned Parenthood</a></li>
<li><a title="Roe Vs. Wade on Wikipedia" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roe_v._Wade">Roe Vs. Wade on Wikipedia</a></li>
<li><a title="Pro-Life Rally Marks 33rd Anniversary of Roe Vs. Wade" href="http://www.fogcityjournal.com/features/roe_vs_wade_anniversary_060121.shtml">Pro-Life Rally Marks 33rd Anniversary of Roe Vs. Wade</a></li>
<li><a title="NARAL Pro-Choice America" href="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/">NARAL Pro-Choice America</a></li>
<li><a title="Pro-Choice Reasons from MIT" href="http://web.mit.edu/pro-choice/www/reasons.html">Pro-Choice Reasons from MIT</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.choicematters.org/articles/procon.html">Legal Abortion: Arguments Pro &amp; Con</a></li>
</ul>
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		<item>
		<title>A Secret Optative</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/07/a-secret-optative/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/07/a-secret-optative/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jul 2005 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2005/a-secret-optative</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They see,conversation listeningThe eyessilent, voices ranting on.Wait to come untoThey&#8217;ve told me,To Sleep is To Diedeep ties to soilI tie deep loss to&#8230;to idles I seep toI See, stop to lieThey&#8217;d met Love,now echo Me, I&#8217;ll liveas True rhythmsmy earth hurtsThey tell me,Awaken to Rebirthto be a raw thinkera heartbroken witheart be a tin workI [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>They see,<br />conversation listening<br />The eyes<br />silent, voices ranting on.<br />Wait to come unto<br />They&#8217;ve told me,<br />To Sleep is To Die<br />deep ties to soil<br />I tie deep loss to&#8230;<br />to idles I seep to<br />I See, stop to lie<br />They&#8217;d met Love,<br />now echo Me, I&#8217;ll live<br />as True rhythms<br />my earth hurts<br />They tell me,<br />Awaken to Rebirth<br />to be a raw thinker<br />a heartbroken wit<br />heart be a tin work<br />I work a heart bent<br />They&#8217;ll meet,<br />at Hers thru my<br />they harms true<br />Death lent,<br />halted net,<br />and let the<br />butterfly<br />flutter by.</p>
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		<title>Day of Silence 2005</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/05/day-of-silence-2005/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/05/day-of-silence-2005/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 May 2005 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[citylife]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2005/day-of-silence-2005</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Walking down the hallways of Lowell High School today, it wasn&#8217;t any quieter than any other day. However, once in a while, I would come upon another fellow ally wearing their &#34;Gay? Fine by me.&#34; T-shirts. We smile and nod, but keep our voices silent. Why not say &#34;Hi!&#34;? I&#8217;ll tell you why. Today was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Walking down the hallways of Lowell High School today, it wasn&#8217;t any quieter than any other day. However, once in a while, I would come upon another fellow ally wearing their &quot;Gay? Fine by me.&quot; T-shirts. We smile and nod, but keep our voices silent. Why not say &quot;Hi!&quot;? I&#8217;ll tell you why. Today was the National Day of Silence.</p>
<p>&quot;The National day of What?&quot; you ask?</p>
<p>Okay, well gather around children and let me tell you.</p>
<p>April is National Gay Pride Month, and every year since 1996, on a Wednesday, there is a nationwide Day of Silence. It is a student-led project where students, ranging from elementary to college, and teachers who are a part of, or support, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning community participate in this day by remaining silent. The purpose of our silence is to protest the discrimination and harassment faced by the gay community and their allies, caused by homophobia. It has become the largest student-led action towards creating a safer environment at schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.</p>
<p>At Lowell, we only remained silent during school hours. After school we broke our silence together at a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) meeting to reflect upon the day. Most teachers at Lowell who participated posted signs in their classrooms that said, &quot;Although I may not be silent, I support the Day of Silence.&quot; Several teachers attempted to teach class without talking. Students who participated or supported this event wore a pin, tag, or sticker that stated their reason for being silent. The tag I wore this year said, &quot;Please understand my reasons of not speaking today. I support lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights. People who are silent today believe that laws and attitudes should be inclusive of all sexual orientations. The Day of Silence is to draw attention to those who have been silenced by hatred, oppression, and prejudice. Think about the voices you are not hearing. What can you do to end the <strong>silence?</strong>&quot;</p>
<p>This year, Lowell&#8217;s GSA had arranged to and notified people to wear their &quot;Gay? Fine by me.&quot; T-shirts on Wednesday, hoping to raise greater awareness. I was pleased to see so many people sporting their &quot;Gay? Fine by me.&quot; T-shirts, and many others with &quot;Day of Silence&quot; pins. During the day I was glad to see many people asking about the day and what was going on. Of course I couldn&#8217;t answer them verbally, so instead I handed them one of the many tags I was carrying with me. I had a field trip today to the Annual Hoover Orchestra festival and it was awesome to see many middle schoolers were also participating. The orchestra director at Hoover even made an announcement about why some of his students wouldn&#8217;t be speaking that day.</p>
<p>The Day of Silence is a great way to turn the silence that is forced upon the gay community into a tool to fight homophobia. There were about 50-100 participants at Lowell this year. Everywhere I looked, I could see at least one participant or supporter. However, we hope that next year even more will join us in trying to end the silence. I&#8217;d like to see it quiet enough to draw the attention of those who have never witnessed this event. It would be awesome to walk down the halls next time and hear only the voices of the teachers who need to teach.</p>
<p>For more information about the Day of Silence please go to http://www.dayofsilence.org</p>
<p>(BTW: due to special circumstances, next year&#8217;s Day of Silence is on a Tuesday. Weird&#8230; I know.)</p>
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		<title>Smelly Hallways</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/02/smelly-hallways/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/02/smelly-hallways/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Feb 2005 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2005/smelly-hallways</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Smelly hallways,same cheap disinfectant,squeaky floors.the receptionist points &#8220;That way.&#8221; Passing peoplenurses, doctors, other visitorsher eyes scanning the wallsthe elevator ridetoo long for comfortshifting from foot to footDad leads the way to the othersthe rest of the familyis waiting no loud hellos, how are yous, pats on the backTension clung to the air Through the final [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Smelly hallways,<br />same cheap disinfectant,<br />squeaky floors.<br />the receptionist points &#8220;That way.&#8221;</p>
<p>Passing people<br />nurses, doctors, other visitors<br />her eyes scanning the walls<br />the elevator ride<br />too long for comfort<br />shifting from foot to foot<br />Dad leads the way to the others<br />the rest of the family<br />is waiting</p>
<p>no loud hellos, how are yous, pats on the back<br />Tension clung to the air</p>
<p>Through the final door and<br />raspy breaths suddenly whisper through the air<br />machines beeping<br />full of nurses all busy with<br />something.</p>
<p>Passing curtain walls<br />one   two   three<br />little dark cubicles<br />each with a bed and their own beeping machines<br />all occupied<br />four   five   six   seven<br />&#8230;pause&#8230;<br />He&#8217;s in there.</p>
<p>Step &#8211; by &#8211; step<br />fear slips in through her feet</p>
<p>Tears already burning</p>
<p>Hands already shaking</p>
<p>Voice cracking</p>
<p>Grandpa&#8230;?</p>
<p>C&#8217;mon, just<br />just look at him,<br />look at his eyes without crying<br />his eyes<br />closed tight</p>
<p>Please,<br />Please open them for her</p>
<p>His eyes peel open<br />his eyes, so dull<br />no sparkle<br />no shine<br />no life&#8230;</p>
<p>a tear tumbles down her cheek<br />a tube down his throat inhales for him.<br />exhales&#8230;<br />another and another<br />tears keep falling</p>
<p>he was… so helpless<br />she… was so helpless</p>
<p>he helped raise this girl.<br />carried her and walked with her through her childhood.<br />picked her up when she fell.<br />bandaged her boo-boos and kissed them.<br />cooked for her and fed her and taught her her language and her music,<br />and her culture<br />and her life<br />and now she stands,<br />hands at her sides,<br />staring eye to eye,<br />helpless.</p>
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		<title>Bringing the Noise MLK 2005</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/01/bringing-the-noise-mlk-2005/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/01/bringing-the-noise-mlk-2005/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Jan 2005 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[citylife]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2005/bringing-the-noise-mlk-2005</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[January 17th at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum What can I say? It was an awesome show. One of the best Youth Speaks performances ever. The show was sold out; members of the Youth Speaks youth board, SPOKES, and &#34;volunteers&#34; had to sit on the floor, but that only made it better. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>January 17th at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum</p>
<p>What can I say? It was an awesome show. One of the       best <a href="http://www.youthspeaks.org/">Youth Speaks</a>       performances ever. The show was sold out; members of the Youth       Speaks youth board, SPOKES, and &quot;volunteers&quot; had to sit on the       floor, but that only made it better.       </p>
<p>       Every year on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Youth Speaks puts on a       show called &quot;Bringing The Noise&quot; in remembrance of Dr. Martin       Luther King, Jr.. The lineup for &quot;Bringing the Noise&quot; MLK is       always full of incredible poets and performers. This year&#8217;s line       up was no exception. We featured performances by Dennis Kim,       Golda Sargento, Emiliano Bourgois-Chacon, Rickena Bates, Lauren       Wingate, Jose Vadi, Miles Douglass, Dahlak Brathwaite, Dominque       Jones, Josh Begley, Cameron Brown, Meilani Clay, Corina Paila,       Dyanna Loeb, Natalia Banderas, Nina Rosenberg, Manon Bogerd-Wada,       George Watsky, Trent Walker, Terry Taplin, Kathy Turchin, Nayeli       Adorador, Katri Foster, Dalia Yedidia, Hazel Kleingrove, Susanna       Myrseth, Rachel Acereto, Adriel Luis, Jocelyn de Leon, and Ruby       Ching. There were several group pieces, a few musical pieces,       including the one and only Jeremy Monangdo, who performed a       self-written song, and a dance piece by Leah Joy. We had special       performances by Imerald Bay, two dudes from Zion, and Unity and       his DJ, Treat U Nice.</p>
<p>At 7:00, half an hour before the show started, the line to get       in filled the Arts Forum lobby and out their doors into the       streets and there were still people in another line trying to get       tickets. 7:20, the auditorium was swarming with excitement as       people began pouring in. The show started off with the       traditional call of the griot by the Youth Speaks staff. From       different parts of the room, each member of the Youth Speaks       staff took turns busting out half a minute of poetry. There was a       roar of applause from the audience as the last poet ended and DJ       Funklor started rippin&#8217; out the beats. The night&#8217;s MC, Ise Lyfe,       strutted on the stage and started off the show,</p>
<p>&quot;Everybody, Make Some <em>NOISE</em>!&quot;</p>
<p>It was an incredible night. There was stuff from helluv       intense poems, to some chillax comedic poetry. There were roars       from the crowd before and after every performer. I got sucked       into every poem, and I could tell everyone else in the audience       was feelin&#8217; it too. Every time something deep was said you could       hear mummers of &quot;MmM&quot; through the room.</p>
<p>DJ Funklor usually does his annual tribute to Martin Luther       King mix, but this year, a well-known intern at Youth Speaks,       Matt Werner, oh excuse meï¿½<em><strong>DJ</strong></em> Matt       Werner did a tribute that was very well done. He came on stage       with a red and black hunting cap; we heard some girls yell, &quot;We       love you Matt!&quot;, while some guys in the front joked, &quot;Elmer       Fudd!&quot;       <br />       The night ended with Ise busting, and a bit of singing, a       powerful poem in remembrance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It       was an incredible night, I can&#8217;t think of a better way to       remember and celebrate the life of Dr. King and his dream.</p>
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		<title>Together</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/01/together/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2005/01/together/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Jan 2005 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[movies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2005/together</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#34;Together&#34;, directed by the Chinese filmmaker Chen Kaige, is a heart-warming, no, soul-melting story of a father and son relationship. This family of two comes from a small village in China. The father, Liu Cheng, is a distinguished cook of his province and his son, Xiao Chun, is a thirteen year-old violin prodigy. Liu Cheng [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&quot;Together&quot;, directed by the Chinese filmmaker Chen       Kaige, is a heart-warming, no, soul-melting story of a father and       son relationship. This family of two comes from a small village       in China. The father, Liu Cheng, is a distinguished cook of his       province and his son, Xiao Chun, is a thirteen year-old violin       prodigy. Liu Cheng is a loving father who is determined to make       his son a famous violinist.</p>
<p>The movie starts off in a small rural city in       China, where much traveling within the city is done by boat. Liu       Cheng learns that his son may have a chance of entering a       renowned music conservatory in Beijing. As they prepare to leave       for Beijing, the intricate relationship between the father and       son becomes apparent.</p>
<p>Upon arriving in Beijing, Liu Cheng leaves his son       for a moment. Xiao Chun&#8217;s wandering eyes fall upon a couple       making out and inadvertently becomes infatuated with the       lady.(Who is the directors wife!!!)</p>
<p>The next day, at the audition for the conservatory,       Xiao Chun&#8217;s talents are exposed for all to see. Here we see how       much of a prodigy he really is. But after placing only 5th, Liu       Cheng over hears to professors talking about how his son should       really have gotten 1st. The only reason he didn&#8217;t was because       they didn&#8217;t pay a bribe! Determined as ever, Liu Cheng finally       convinced Professor Jiang, an untidy musician who lives in a       house full of cats, to allow Xiao Chun to be his pupil.</p>
<p>Xiao Chun begins studying with Professor Jiang,       learning some life lessons along with his music as the professor       allows bits of his past seep into their lessons. At home, Xiao       Chun is delighted to learn that the lady with whom he had become       infatuated lives nearby. She&#8217;s become a sort-of older sister to       him over the course of the movie. She enjoys listening to Xiao       Chun play the violin and he gladly plays it for her. But Xiao       Chun&#8217;s infatuation with her leads to a crisis that later       threatens his musical career.</p>
<p>Soon, Liu Cheng learns that Professor Jiang&#8217;s       influence will not be enough to make his son famous. Things       become very interesting when Liu Cheng decides to send Xiao Chun       to another professor, Professor Yu (played by the director!!!),       who has a better reputation than Jiang in turning his pupils into       international stars. Xiao Chun leaves Professor Jiang with a       bittersweet farewell and begins life with Professor Yu. From       there, Xiao Chun battles with his new found rival, a fellow       student of Professor Yu, learns of a tragic family secret, and       struggles to learn why he plays the violin.</p>
<p>This movie totally makes you want to learn how to       play a violin! Or, at least it makes you want to have such great       passion and love for something as Xiao Chun does. The emotions in       this movie unfold slowly so it doesn&#8217;t seem too cheesy; they tug       at your heart until you fall in love with the movie. It ends with       a total tearjerker that got me sniffling. The only thing I can       complain about is how relationships were portrayed. The movie       just touches a bit on each relationship between the characters,       it&#8217;s hard to measure how deep the relationships actually are.       Other then that, &quot;Together&quot; was totally awesome! It has a great       selection of music and the perfect cast for the characters. Y&#8217;all       have got to see it!</p>
<p>Oh, I forgot to mention, it&#8217;s in Chinese, but with       English subtitles. =)</p>
<p>Web site: <a href="http://togethermovie.com/">http://togethermovie.com</a></p>
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		<title>Nalia, Chpater 1</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/12/nalia-chpater-1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/12/nalia-chpater-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 Dec 2004 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2004/nalia-chpater-1</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Nalia shivered in the night air as she ran, splashing through the muddy streets of Malch. Rain poured down on her, soaking through her thin jacket. It was dark; the rain had put out all the torches, leaving only a waning moon to light her path. Turning back more to listen than to look, she [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Nalia shivered in the night air as she ran, splashing through the muddy streets of Malch.  Rain poured down on her, soaking through her thin jacket. It was dark; the rain had put out all the torches, leaving only a waning moon to light her path. Turning back more to listen than to look, she no longer heard the footsteps of her father chasing her. She stopped and started to sob.  Her whole life was now ruined! She had run out of her house with her father yelling at her, not too far behind.  She could still hear her mother&#8217;s cries and her father&#8217;s cursing in her head.  She shook her head violently, trying to get the sounds and images out of her head. Sobbing, Nalia stumbled as she tried to find shelter from the rain. She was only 13 and her father already wanted her to be married off. Nalia quickly ran underneath the shelter of a tree and sat, huddled there, wondering where to go now. </p>
<p>A slow ploop, ploop, ploop sound woke Nalia up.  It was still dark, but at the edge of the sky, Nalia could see just a tiny bit of glowing from the rising sun.  She looked around wondering what had woken her up.  Ploop. A drop of water fell on her nose.  The rain had stopped and water, now, was dripping from the trees.  As Nalia stood up, she could hear the city waking up with her.  A few roosters were crowing, shopkeepers were opening up their shops, beggars were already claiming street corners, and merchants with their horse-drawn carriages were searching for places to set up.  Turning quickly, to get away from the main streets, Nalia stumbled into a young man walking by. &#8221; Oh, sorry.&#8221; Nalia muttered and walked quickly away. She sprinted off through the city gates, leaving the young man staring at where she had stood.  </p>
<p> &#8220;Now where do I go?&#8221; Nalia sighed as she strolled across the bridge, &#8220;Father must have his men looking for me.&#8221;  Stopping at the middle to stare into the water, Nalia gazed at her reflection. &#8220;I look like a beggar!&#8221; Nalia laughed out loud.  Relaxing a little bit, she continued across the bridge.  As she walked past a tree, Nalia thought she heard footsteps behind her.  She whipped around and stood ready to sock whoever was behind her, but no one was there.  Getting a little nervous, she picked up her pace, trying to find an open area.  She still had the feeling she was being followed. </p>
<p>Nalia finally came upon a clearing. She walked straight through it.  When she was about to head into the trees again she swerved around quickly.  There was the young man she had bumped into earlier, just about to run into the trees. The two just froze there as sunlight began to pour in between the treetops.  Suddenly, Nalia turned on the balls of her feet and broke into a run through the trees. </p>
<p>&#8220;Wait! Don&#8217;t go!&#8221; The young man cried as he sprinted after her. &#8220;It looks like you might need some help.&#8221; He continued, catching her arm as he caught up. </p>
<p> &#8220;Well, I don&#8217;t! And you best leave me alone if you know what&#8217;s good for you.&#8221; She turned away and continued running to nowhere in particular. </p>
<p>Suddenly, she ran into someone else. </p>
<p> &#8220;Leave me ALONE!&#8221; Nalia yelled, not knowing who it was. Nalia just turned away and continued walking. Then there was another person and another and another. Her father&#8217;s men surrounded her. Panicking, Nalia blindly fled right into the arms of one of the men.  &#8220;Let me go!&#8221; She yelled, kicking at her captor. The arms around her tightened as she was dragged back toward the other men. Suddenly, the grip around her loosened and her captor fell to the ground. In his back stood a dagger deep into his body. Sickened by the sight, Nalia could not move. She could hear yells in back of her, as she struggled to reach a tree nearby.  She turned around to see why the other men hadn&#8217;t come after her and saw the young man. He was fighting all of the men, and winning. </p>
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		<title>I Love You&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/09/i-love-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/09/i-love-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2004 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2004/i-love-you</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I pull on his jacket. I can smell a scent that was his, the scent that everyone carries around with them. I poke my head out from the top and wrap my arms in his jacket around myself. I see his smiling face and I smile back. He takes my hand and we walk under [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I pull on his jacket. I can smell a scent that was his, the scent that everyone carries around with them. I poke my head out from the top and wrap my arms in his jacket around myself. I see his smiling face and I smile back. He takes my hand and we walk under the stars through the sandy dunes of Ocean Beach. He whispers, &#8220;You are my favorite girlfriend.&#8221; I giggle. &#8220;I am your ONLY girlfriend.&#8221;</p>
<p>I lay down on the carpet in my room holding the phone against my ear. &#8221; Couples who go to different schools…that&#8217;s why I think they&#8217;re crazy!&#8221; he says. I laugh and he continues. &#8220;I mean, if I had a girlfriend, I would want to spend every moment with her; wouldn&#8217;t you?&#8221; I nod and realize that he can&#8217;t see me over the phone and say, &#8220;Yeah, I guess.&#8221; I feel very happy and relieved as we continue to talk about relationships. I feel nothing. I am only talking to a good friend on the phone. I sigh and close my eyes while he talks.</p>
<p>I open my swollen eyes, tears still filling them and running down my face. He sits next to me. &#8220;I love you and I&#8217;ll always be there for you.&#8221; <i>But why now?! All I want is to be left alone! I love you too, but please…please leave me alone!</i> But I don&#8217;t dare say that out loud. I just bury my face in my arms and sob. He leans over and kisses me on the head. If I wasn&#8217;t crying, I would have shown surprise, but I am crying and all I can do is sob.</p>
<p>A kiss on the cheek is my goal for today. Today is Tuesday. Tuesday means he has fencing and fencing means he has to leave early. If he is leaving early, that means my dad won&#8217;t be here to see. We search the shelves of the library looking for a book with our friend. He turns around. He has to leave. <i>Oh! Not yet not yet!</i> <i>Now&#8217;s the time. It&#8217;s now or never. Just do it before he goes!</i> I work up my nerve while I try to keep him from leaving. A quick peck on the cheek and we both blush, but he has to leave and I watch him go. I turn around and my friend didn&#8217;t even notice what I just did.</p>
<p>He walks away quickly. No hug goodbye. I&#8217;m not sure if I did the right thing. Maybe I should have just said we needed to take a break, not a breakup. </p>
<p>There is a reason why I have a best friend. She told me not to do it. She told me I would regret it. I regret what I did. One week later was too late for another chance.</p>
<p>The last dance of the school year, he goes with this girl. But during the first slow dance they don&#8217;t dance. <i>He likes her, right? Why don&#8217;t they go dance?</i> I walk over to him and give him a little shove towards her. &#8220;Go, ask her to dance.&#8221; I watch him walk to her. I watch him dance with her. <i>I&#8217;m happy for him. I&#8217;m happy for him. I&#8217;m happy for him. Right?</i> Then why are these tears burning in my eyes? I move through the crowd of couples and out of the dance. I step outside into the cold evening fog, slink into the shadow of a tree and sob. I cry ‘til the song is over and a fast one begins. By the time I walk back inside, no one could tell I had just cried. The next slow dance, I dance with him. We don&#8217;t hold each other close like we used to. A nice arm&#8217;s distance away and we just watch each other as we dance.</p>
<p>I snap out of the daydream as the phone rings. My heart beats a little faster. <i>That&#8217;s gotta be him.</i> &#8220;Hello?&#8221; &#8220;Hi, sorry I didn&#8217;t call you last night.&#8221; &#8220;It&#8217;s ok!&#8221; It&#8217;s very ok. He calls me every night and we talk for hours! Tonight I sit in my bed and we talk about video games. I hold the phone closer to my ear and listen to his voice. Time seems to slow down a bit, just so we could talk longer, maybe forever.</p>
<p>I pull off his jacket and toss it to him, &#8220;Sorry I kept it for so long, I keep forgetting to bring it with me when we go out.&#8221; He just laughs and shrugs, &#8220;Whatever, we see each other often enough.&#8221; I smile. &#8220;We see each other more now than when we were together!&#8221; We both laugh. We walk through the mall like a couple, but we&#8217;re not a couple. </p>
<p>We were a couple. <i>Now we are a couple of best friends.</p>
<p></i></p>
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		<title>For Late Nights and Bored Days</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/08/for-late-nights-and-bored-days/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/08/for-late-nights-and-bored-days/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Aug 2004 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[games]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2004/for-late-nights-and-bored-days</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Minesweeper is this little game that comes with most computers with Windows 98. In this game you want to find all the hidden mines, but without uncovering any of them. You click on little squares that give you numbers, telling you how many mines there are in the eight squares surrounding it. Some squares will [...]]]></description>
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<p ><u><span>Minesweeper</span></u> <span>is this little         game that comes with most computers with Windows 98. In this         game you want to find all the hidden mines, but without         uncovering any of them. You click on little squares that give         you numbers, telling you how many mines there are in the eight         squares surrounding it. Some squares will uncover more than         just itself when clicked; they also uncover the squares around         them that don&#8217;t contain mines. When you think you have found a         mine, you can right click on it and the computer will mark that         square with a flag and that way you can&#8217;t accidentally click on         it and blow up. Which leads to dying. When you uncover a mine,         you die. Blow up and die. The computer will show you where all         the mines were, and if you had marked any squares, it also         shows you if you mis-marked a square. To win the game, you must         uncover all the squares that don&#8217;t contain mines.         <o:p /></span></p>
<p ><span>On the top part of the         game window are two numbers and a cute smiley face between         them. The number on the left is the number of mines you haven&#8217;t         &quot;discovered&quot; in the field, and the number on the right is how         much time you have taken during the game. You want to win the         game as quickly as possible because your score is how long you         take to win. The smiley face doesn&#8217;t really have a function.         Well, it kind of does. Clicking it restarts the game, but you         can always hit F2 to restart the game. The smiley face is there         to keep you company. It smiles at you while you play the game         and gasps every time you are about to click a square and smiles         again if you uncovered an empty square. When you win the game,         it puts on some nice shades acting cool like he won the game,         but when you die he dies too. I think he is like some kind of         motivation to win, &#8217;cause you don&#8217;t want to kill the little         smiley face!<o:p /></span></p>
<p ><span>This game is great for         when it&#8217;s late at night and you can&#8217;t seem to concentrate on         writing your essay due the next day. When you first start         playing, you get addicted to it and are determined to beat the         high score. After a while you become bored with it, but as soon         you get bored with your essay, <u>Minesweeper</u> becomes very         inviting again. Some people may become completely addicted and         drag their friends with them into their addiction. Then you may         set up competitions, if you have two computers or do this over         the phone, racing one another. (Warning: people who do this may         be considered nerds.) I have recently had a whole phone         conversation about <u>Minesweeper</u> and my scores with a         friend, so I guess I fall into the nerd category.         <o:p /></span></p>
<p ><u><span>Minesweeper</span></u> <span>is a simple and         entertaining game. Play it when it&#8217;s late at night or when         you&#8217;re bored during the day. Become the <u>Minesweeper</u>         master. I used to think this game would prepare me to be some         sort of <u>Minesweeper</u> in the Army. Just imagine, we could         save the world from being blown up by clicking on some         squares.</span></p>
</p></div>
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		<title>It&#8217;s Hard Explaining What Believing in God is Like</title>
		<link>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/08/its-hard-explaining-what-believing-in-god-is-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bamboozled.org/2004/08/its-hard-explaining-what-believing-in-god-is-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Aug 2004 01:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hannah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/hannah/2004/its-hard-explaining-what-believing-in-god-is-like</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My clownrolls his head as the music box plays&#8230;dun dun dun dun dudun dumI reach out to wind it up again for the hundredth time.I found my old pal tonight,head full of white hair,face faded, I had to do a quick make-up job on him.This strange melody he playsold and familiarI play it again,and listen [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My clown<br />rolls his head as the music box plays&#8230;<br />dun dun dun dun dudun dum<br />I reach out to wind it up again for the hundredth time.<br />I found my old pal tonight,<br />head full of white hair,<br />face faded, I had to do a quick make-up job on him.<br />This strange melody he plays<br />old and familiar<br />I play it again,<br />and listen again.<br />Take me back, my friend,<br />I can almost feel my childhood<br />underneath all my troubles<br />underneath the dust collected through the years<br />his head rolls back<br />looking up at me<br />smiling<br />so happy<br />so innocent<br />his face,<br />so free,<br />white like clouds<br />lined with silver that shines<br />like his hair.<br />His bleeding eyes only carry tears<br />from falling off his tricycle.<br />His rainbow-striped suit,<br />with an itchy lace collar,<br />is a little too big for him.<br />It comes with a matching hat,<br />a nightcap,<br />that hangs down his back<br />where the metal key is<br />I wind him up<br />one last time<br />watch his head roll slowly<br />bright red mouth, <br />forever smiling<br />black marker eyes,<br />watching me.</p>
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