As I watch my friend slumbering peacefully, I wonder if
she’ll ever wake up. I’ve spent countless hours in this
tidy hospital room with nothing to do but to get lost in my
tangle of thoughts, visiting old memories and reflecting on
life. Mostly, I’ve just been regretting.
Regretting that I might have been the one to cause her
to be in this vegetable-like state when she was the one who
saved me from the fearful demons that existed within me. I
was a despicable person back then and she was the one who
woke me up from that nightmare of fights, blackmails,
detentions and drugs, and showed me that I’m not alone in
the world.
For that unconditional love she showed me a countless
number of times, I showed my appreciation by betraying her,
thinking I’d be able to get help if I ran. I left her in
the middle of the fight, the fight that caused her to be in
this coma. I turned tail and ran like the coward I was and
left her to fend for herself. Tsk, I’m so damn pathetic.
How I regret I hadn’t left her, hadn’t gotten her involved
in the first place.
Now all I can do is gaze at her and wish. It’s already
dark and soon the nurses will shoo me away. My eyes skip to
the window and I stare out at the infinite sky lit dimly
with the trillions of tiny flickering lights. It makes me
feel tiny and alone, as if my presence in this vast
universe means nothing at all to anyone.
Then I see it: a bright shooting star whizzing across,
leaving a tiny trail of light in its path. I wish for the
happy times with her again, for her to wake up, and lastly,
I wish for her friendship again, hoping for her
forgiveness. All of a sudden, I start crying. I can’t help
it, I just feel too agonizingly sad and empty inside. It
just hurt too much to think of the times when the air
between us was filled with laughter and silly giggles.
“Shyanna! Wake up!” I manage to cry out between
sniffles.
“WAKE UUUP!!! I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” I’m too
loud, causing the nurse to rush in. She gives me a stern
glare and scolds me, but I don’t care.
“Come baaaackkk Shyanna!” I’m beyond caring. I’m alone
in this world again anyway.
“Please, be quiet! This is a hospital!” The nurse scowls
at me, her eyes gleaming with agitation.
She can’t hush me up or get me to stop crying. I just
sit limply over Shyanna’s bed, my tears staining her white
blanket as I wail loudly, looking insane with my crazy,
unkempt hair and dark circles under my blood-red eyes. I
mumble out more things while the nurse threatens to call
security.
“Forgive me…,”
“You deserved better…,”
“WAKE UP ALREADY!”
Then I think I must finally be going insane. It sounds
like someone is calling my name.
“Ki-Kia…la?”
The sound of that voice sounded so warm and familiar.
Yes, I’ve really gone delusional. I’m hearing Shyanna’s
voice now.
I must be more tired than I thought.
“Ms. Shyanna? OH MY GOD! You’re finally awake! You’re
awake! I’ve got to go tell the doctor!” I see the nurse
dash out of the room, all the while babbling in an
extremely excited tone, occasionally squealing happily, but
I go on rambling into the blanket.
Then it finally registers in my brain and I turn to face
Shyanna slowly, praying that this isn’t one of those dreams
of mine. It’s too cruel if it is. A hand reaches up slowly
to touch my face softly.
At a loss for all words, I cry, thankful for the
miracle.
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