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Well, today is approximately my 5,995th day in this world. That's about
143,880 hours. It's scary to figure that stuff out because that kind of math
always leads to the same line of questions. What have I been doing with all
this time? What do I have to show for it? How much longer do I have left?
What will I do with the rest of it? That's what this summer has been like
for me; realizing that I really don't have that much time left as a young
person, and no time left as a child.
My sister , who is only about 921.5 days older than I am, is going
to college next year and it will also be the most important year of my life
for getting into college. I don't even know what college I want to go to,
what I want to study , or whether I even want to stay in California for
college. All that I do know is that I have to get in somehow. I also know I
have to take the SAT test and score at least 1180, but I don't even really
understand what an 1180 means. I've been told it just means you are an above
average intelligent person, but I can tell them that without having to take
any stupid test. I have figured that in only 730 days I will be where my
sister is now. She knows where she is going and what she will be studying,
but I don't think she's really figured out what she wants to do with her life
either.
What I also know is that within these 730 days, when I will be
making my "big" decisions, there will be some distractions. In 19
days I will register for classes, and in 20 days I will begin attending
classes. With classes comes soccer practice everyday after school, JSA, the
hiking club, as well as having a tutor and a weekend job. With weekends come
late night parties which I usually recover from by Sunday afternoon, just in
time to organize my room and do my homework. Along the way there will be
Bamboozled meetings twice a week with which I still am not sure how I will
keep up when I haven't even been able to go as often as I'd like even in the
summer. Winter will roll in and all my friends and I will grab some guy and
head to WinterBall in outfits that took us two months to perfect, and hair
that will have so much hairspray that even el Nino can't bring it down. The
Holiday break will be short and I will probably be working every day and
going out every night. So, I will probably be more exhausted by the time I'm
back in school rather than as relaxed as I should be. When school picks up
again, there will be finals, which are actually kind of fun because you don't
have to go to class all of time. Exhausted? We aren't even onto the second
semester yet. Second semester will be the most important semester of my life
and the most hectic. Soccer season will be in full swing and I will be
getting home at 8pm almost every night, with games on the weekend as well,
and clubs , and Bamboozled , and parties, and jobs, and SAT's and college,
and boys, and Junior Prom, and finals, and stress, and finally summer. Summer
will be the break. I will probably be in the same state of mind that I am
in now then, only a lot more scared. I will also try to write about it but
I'm not sure if I will have a forum like the internet to present my feelings
on. So, I will just keep it to myself like most young people do and hope for
the best but expect the worst.
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