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This morning I took my final SAT test for the summer. I guess you could
say I am a veteran at these tests even though my scores suggest otherwise.
What I do know for sure is that SAT proctors are the most anal people in the
world. Realistically, if anyone is going to cheat on such an important
standardized test they are not going to be stupid enough to get caught by a
high school educated senile old proctor. Their analeness (it's a living
language) is completely unnecessary as well as misdirected, most often at me.
I have never cheated on a test in my life, I swear. Even if I were to cheat
it would not be by talking to the person behind me during a testing break!
Yet still, I have been threatened more than twice by these self glorified
police, who are really more like crossing guards in the civil service
hierarchy .SAT proctors are seriously delusional. They honestly believe that
it is their noble duty to harass anyone that so much as coughs during
testing. Personally, if someone coughing during your test is going to affect
your score that much, then you probably don't really deserve the score you
would have earned anyway.
It's true if you think about it, people with the most meaningless
jobs behold themselves to be the most integral instruments in society. Meter
maids, crossing guards, librarians, and hair stylists all fall under this
category. Hair stylists are the absolute worst. They truly presuppose that it
is their job to keep America beautiful, whether America wants it or not. How
many times have you ever gotten the haircut you asked for from a stylist?
Maybe I am just cursed, but stylists hate me. I ask for light layers, I get
Jennifer Anniston in the mid nineties. I pleaded once with a woman to just
cut my hair straight. I don't know what to call what she did to me. It wasn't
pretty. That's why I have opted for Salon Elena where for the last six months
I have been cutting my own hair. It's actually not that bad, remarkably
straight. The entire process takes about a week because there is the initial
cut , and then the next six days I trim the random strands that I missed. I
would take the SAT's privately if I could, but I haven't ever seen them
advertised. To avoid the anally retarded one must take matters into her own
hands.
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