shift

This post was co-authored by Kate.

how can
we go on so
so casually
casually eating peaches. They’re biodynamic they’re splurty and lush
they came to my house this morning. Soft.
They appeared casually into my peaceful life. No never peaceful there
are things like traffic and broken wrists couldn’t play in the tennis
match last weekend.
While you were failing your bio exam you sobbed it got salty.
The same time the same exact moment
each
time you tap your blue faded low top Converse her bruised swelling
face twitches. RIGHT NOW in the shade somewhere
else
she’s dusty as she squints at the blood in the dirt where they raped
her daughter again she retches but no
no
no way out just more endless hopeless helpless
grotesque appalling horrific subhuman
gore guts guns bruised organs torn dried shredded

When the train slows
I look up and hold a gaze with a woman bourn by the subway wall
One more campaign for a call to consciousness
But not even karma can slow the pace of every shiny heel
That steps farther and away up the escalator into the warm sunshine of oblivion
I think of how her eyes cut into the camera lens so that her image
Could, maybe, survive
The ghosts of a nation walk in our footsteps

she can’t lift her useless leg festering in the sand she can’t
I can’t breathe as I watch her humanity disintegrate beneath my eye skin
I can cry against the fresh car window kick my door until my foot
blooms plum all over.
But chances are
in half an hour I’ll ask you if you enjoyed the film.

Prayers are not enough
So when I light a candle and let the incense smoke twist tears from my eyes
Time is burning down, life is waning and wax melts lower and lower
Oxygen fouls into carbon dioxide
And still the minutes leak on
Drip but do not break because
There is no bottom
There is no cry enough
Until no one is left to keep on breathing
In the broken pieces
Our clocks hang heavy while ash and dust slip into
Piles that won’t disperse in the wind
But hang in heavy clouds that blind from reason
From unthinkable corners
Of colossal unending
Of shattered humanity
Over and over and over

The ghosts of a nation walk in the chasms of our footsteps:
Turn no further away