truth

Smelly hallways,
same cheap disinfectant,
squeaky floors.
the receptionist points “That way.”

Passing people
nurses, doctors, other visitors
her eyes scanning the walls
the elevator ride
too long for comfort
shifting from foot to foot
Dad leads the way to the others
the rest of the family
is waiting

no loud hellos, how are yous, pats on the back
Tension clung to the air

Through the final door and
raspy breaths suddenly whisper through the air
machines beeping
full of nurses all busy with
something.

Passing curtain walls
one two three
little dark cubicles
each with a bed and their own beeping machines
all occupied
four five six seven
…pause…
He’s in there.

Step – by – step
fear slips in through her feet

Tears already burning

Hands already shaking

Voice cracking

Grandpa…?

C’mon, just
just look at him,
look at his eyes without crying
his eyes
closed tight

Please,
Please open them for her

His eyes peel open
his eyes, so dull
no sparkle
no shine
no life…

a tear tumbles down her cheek
a tube down his throat inhales for him.
exhales…
another and another
tears keep falling

he was… so helpless
she… was so helpless

he helped raise this girl.
carried her and walked with her through her childhood.
picked her up when she fell.
bandaged her boo-boos and kissed them.
cooked for her and fed her and taught her her language and her music,
and her culture
and her life
and now she stands,
hands at her sides,
staring eye to eye,
helpless.