truth

Dear People who read the insane babble I write,

Once upon a time in a third world country a rooster woke me up at the butt crack of dawn, so I got out of bed and in the steaming searing heat of the Mediterranean, and walked down an unbelievably grotesque shitload of stairs at which point when I reached the bottom I saw this big stupid chicken, who I swear was Satan himself because I could see it in his beady little eyes, and the way he cocked (hee, hee…cocked…) his disgustingly small head and when I tried to get past this detestable demon (why the hell is there a chicken at the bottom of a stairway?) it proceeded to squawk and peck at my poor bare feet with its repugnant and abominable beak of nasty-Satan beaks, and at this point I was so frightened, I almost shit in my favorite green satin underwear (THAT would have sucked) but instead of releasing any bodily function, I called for my kick-ass, big-mustached, smelling of cigars, Arab uncle to come help me get the evil pile of walking talking vomit out of my way, and so he did by chopping it’s dirty head off and cooking it for dinner that very night. Gotta love the Arabic style.

THE END

Sincerely,
A sick and twisted writer

P.S. Revenge never tasted sweeter. Literally.