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A Treatise On The Evils Of Television

by Saturday, August 1st, 1998.

It’s no wonder that TV has been called the opiate of the masses. Everywhere I look, in every house, there’s a TV on. The only thing I ever want to do is watch TV. It is worse than taking drugs. Generally, I’m skeptical of the people who shout conspiracy, but who invented it anyway, and what, if any, useful purpose does it serve? A way to tune out your own problems by watching phony ones? The more you watch, the harder it becomes to go outside and do something. Why bother to go anywhere when the TV’s right there? You don’t even have to take the bus home afterwards. Reality is usually a lot less exciting than it is supposed to be anyway. The worst part is that you can actually trick yourself into believing that you’re doing something productive. "I’m not braindead, I’m only analyzing the stupidity involved in the show," you continue to tell yourself.

It’s interesting – if I try really hard, I can remember some of the shows I watched a year ago. But for most of them – I draw a blank. What happened to all those hours? Are they all down the drain? What could we have been doing instead, at least for half that time? I’d venture to say that most of us could’ve written a novel or at least have mastered those pesky 5 guitar chords that I have so much trouble with. Well, to back track a bit, I wouldn’t call TV an utter waste of time – it does beat doing stuff like homework and its about the same as hanging out with your friends doing whatever. It’s human nature to be lazy and live like we’re immortals, wasting time as if we had all of it in the world.

But I digress, this is all going somewhere, I assure you. See, I was thinking the other day about what we call "The Renaissance Man". It’s a person who can do a whole bunch of things, and do them well. Like Leonardo da Vinci, or Thomas Jefferson. Does our society still foster people like that? Who has the discipline to learn, study, or create, when you can just watch some TV? And life is relatively simple now if you’re still living with your parents. Pretty soon you’ll need a job to pay the rent, then you’ll come home and be too tired to do anything but watch TV, eat, and go to sleep. It’s as if a new lower-class populace is emerging in our society and most of us don’t know we’re a part of it.

So how many people actually got this far in the article? And how many did it without skipping? That’s another problem I have with TV, it reduces your attention span to about 3 seconds. Who reads anymore? It takes too long and it’s too hard. Information must be presented in a concise, rapid and yet entertaining form, otherwise I’ll stop paying attention. And we wonder why most of the matter people tell us is pure balderdash – truth isn’t very entertaining. The only things that appeal to people are banal slogans and lies, and then we wonder why we’re being treated like idiots.

I’m not going to give a bunch of phony suggestions like get a new hobby, go outside, etc. But I will say, coffee helps with lack of energy, and so does exercising in the morning. Here’s another interesting tidbit: the upper-class hardly ever watch TV. There’s just no time for it. In appeals to the materialistic greedy side of humanity – if you want those benjamins, the TV’s not going to help, so get off your ass.

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